LeadDog is fascinated by Legislative actions on Gavel Alaska every year, but last year’s (GOP majority) performance takes the cake! My articles will soon be focused on the happenings in Juneau over the next six months, session 2015, so I apologize in advance for inflicting that on readers. Many of the same players (bullies) were re-elected, but we do have a new administration. That should shake things up.
First, I’ll share some humor with you that always sets the stage and helps keep politics in perspective for me. I have a print copy taped by my computer.
“A New Element, Governentium”
The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.”
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes “Administratium” (Am) – an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.” Author unknown.
This year my hope for sanity is restored. Congratulations and thank you Team Walker/Mallott. You are the Dream Team and the reason my hope is restored.
The serious work of election analysis starts as soon as the numbers are certified at the end of November. My next article will review the turnout. No humor in that one.
Governmentium©November 16, 2014